What??? I peered intently at a receipt for when I sent my manuscript to the publisher. I sent the ms to Ronsdale OVER a year ago??? You’ve got to be kidding. Panic took over instantly, and I took action. The first, most obvious action, was to attack the person responsible for this hideous reality. How could I possibly have taken so long to rewrite this story? How did I let the time get away from me like that? I should NOT have taken on so many speaking engagements this year. How can you concentrate on rising action when you are crafting a presentation? Really. AND the tour to Fort McMurray. Sure it was a great week of camaraderie with other authors and exciting school visits, but did I really have time for that right now? Then there’s the house renovations. Okay, so that one is a bit of a challenge. Having asbestos in the ceiling was NOT my idea. Having my house demolished to the 2 by 4′s was NOT my idea, but still, did I REALLY have to spend every waking moment choosing finishes and shopping for new bathroom taps? Honestly. There had to be a couple of hours every day to write, had I not been so distracted. Discipline. That’s what I was lacking. That had to change.
Having pretty much destroyed what was left of the muse, my writing and my self-esteem were at an all time low. I was hopeless. The manuscript deserved life in a sock drawer, and I deserved, well, nothing.
In this state of mind, then, it was hardly surprising that I suffered the longest migraine of my life. Nothing was working and my agitation grew along with my already lengthy to-do list. The discipline plan was failing me. So, I waved the white flag of defeat. I decided to ignore my already late income tax papers and the last-minute renovation shopping. I decided to leave the packing-up of our temporary home and the packing for our road trip. AND I decided to leave the manuscript. The sock drawer would always be there.
I climbed into bed, determined not to get out until the migraine was gone. A very interesting thing happened. As I lay in bed, sleeping, dozing, relaxing, my mind made space for my manuscript, and I began to live the story, in my sleepy stupor. Without any effort, the muse presented the solutions to the sticky areas of my manuscript and even whispered an ending. Actually, it was a pretty good ending.
The to-do list awaits me, as we speak. And I still have to shop for casings and back splashes. But the migraine is gone. The disappointment in myself is gone. The muse has returned. And I know that there will be time to sit at the computer and commit to the page all the great ideas the muse presented me with yesterday.
I am truly hoping the migraine does not reappear any time soon. But it did leave me with a gift. I realized that, while important, discipline is not always what is needed. Sometimes letting your mind run completely free is what is needed. I remember my uncle’s words of advice when I was visiting them once many years ago. He and my aunt were wrangling with a sticky issue and I wondered if there was something I could do to help the situation. My uncle said, “Clear your mind. That’s all you need to do.” Although I thought it was an odd answer at the time, but now I realize that the wisdom of those words.
Sometimes there is power in procrastination. (And a little extra sleep probably doesn’t hurt either!)















